Anna's Refuge by Kerryn Reid

Author:Kerryn Reid [Reid, Kerryn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-62916-421-2
Publisher: Hartwood Publishing

“Please go away,” she said. Despite the please it sounded cruel. She saw him wince, and spoke more gently. “I appreciate your solicitude, truly I do, but I don’t want your help. I must find my way through the brambles alone. Goodbye, Mr. Aubrey.”

She left him standing in the middle of the parlor and closed herself away in her room.

He must think her cold-hearted, thinking only of herself. In all their talk these past two days, she had hardly mentioned the child.

What he did not see was that every tear, every fright, every outburst of temper, had its root in the tiny person growing inside her, whom she would never see grow up, never see happy or sad, never even know if it lived or died. The child who would never remember his mother.

Her lips quivered and she clamped them tight. It didn’t matter what Lewis Aubrey thought. She was responsible for the decision, and then she must live with it for the rest of her life. The only way she could possibly do that was to grit her teeth and shove the pain under the next stone in the wall.

She wasn’t doing very well thus far. What was Pope’s line? ‘Too much weakness for the stoic’s pride?’ Yes, she was weak. But practice and time would make it easier, or at least possible. So she hoped.

Leaning against her chamber door, she heard their voices in the parlor as an undertone for her thoughts—Putnam’s mutter, then the rumble of his baritone. She stepped away and the door fell open a crack. Lewis’s words came soft but clear.

“…be back in a few days. I want you to have this.” Anna held her breath as whatever this was changed hands.

A clink of coins and Putnam’s response. “Lud, sir, we can’t possibly use the half of this.”

“Take it, Putnam. You’ll need hackney fare, more coal, and food—she’s far too thin. You might decide she should see a physician. There’s a long future ahead, however it—”

Anna yanked the door wide and charged through. Silence, except for her feet on the bare floor as she stomped up to them. They had the grace to look guilty.

Putnam held a money pouch. Recklessly, Anna swept it out of her cupped palm to land with a metallic clunk inches from the fire. The maid uttered some appalled exclamation and jumped to the rescue.

“Are you deaf, Mr. Aubrey? I’m quite sure I said I don’t want your help. Did you not understand me? Odd, because I never used to think you stupid.”

His eyes narrowed and his hands clenched into fists. A flush rose from his collar to his cheekbones. Good! She’d taken him down a peg. She hated herself for it.

“Are you finished, Miss Fishwife?” His tone was far from soothing. “Because I have something to say too. You’re not the only one suffering because of your witless indiscretion, you know. Yes, you are the leading lady. Maybe that entitles you to your high-handed arrogance, snapping at those who hold you dear.

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